Cancer and Health

As I sit here reflecting about life and reading a lovely blog about Meaghan I'm thinking about how hard her fight must have been. I just saw her blog today and am completely obsessed. Even though she did pass away in April of this year I find it incredible that her husband is taking the blog on, to keep her memory alive and complete her bucket list himself- for her. That is incredible. That is love.

My family has been plagged with cancer as well. My great grandfather pasted away with prostate cancer, my grandfather pasted away with leukemia, my aunt pasted away with breast cancer, my grandma pasted away with ovarian cancer and one of my closest aunt's has battled and won the fight (for now) with ovarian cancer. And that was just in the past 5 years.

That is crazy, so much loss. I have learned to love and tell the people that you love, that you love them. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, and I don't know who can pass away next from something small or something big. I just know that I love the people that I do, and I tell them.

To anyone who reads my blog... thank you...

And to anyone battling cancer, I salute you, and I know it is a hard thing to overcome, I've seen it first hand, attack the people I love the most. Just been thinking about things... My mind doesn't stop...


..... Love Tanya

Stress

I just want to be less stressed.

Not overworked.
Be able to stop arguing about the stupidest things with everyone.
To take the stress of my loved ones away, and make them smile.
I want life to be less ugly, less hectic, less time consuming, and more laughter.

For now, I'll just stick with the life I have now.
Because out of all this chaos, I am happy with it.

..... Love Tanya

Money, Money, Money

Yes I have debt. More the 75% of Canadians do too. It's a bad thing. It hold people back and makes them frustrated with their lives. I am frustrated. I want this debt to be done with. I am exhausted of lugging this away, and up until now I didn't know how I was going to manage it, and pay if off. I have taken the steps in learning about the future, and learning about money and how to make money work for me not because people told me, but because I WANT to. I WANT to be able to buy my own house, and put half of the payment for the house down. I WANT to move out and be self sufficent. I WANT to be happy and have this big dark cloud off of my head and shoulders. So I WILL pay off my debt by the end of this year, by myself and I WILL be happy... and buy my house in 4 to 5 years.

I'm excited and I feel it in my bones... I love this feeling! Everything in my life is arranging perfectly....

Ladies and Gents!!! Money DoES NOT GROW ON TREES!!!!!

How are you getting out of debt???

..... Love Tanya

What Women Really Mean

I was talking to one of my good friends the other night and we were talking about relationships and what us girls say to our men, but what we really mean when we say it. So we came up with these 9 simple words that are usually uttered or said when you are (upset/mad/tired) with your significant other.





1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. As well, women when are really pissed off, they will just say fine to really shut you up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. If she is coming to pick you up, it usually means around 15 minutes. If she is coming to something really important to you it means five minutes. For every situation it varies- trust me.  

3) Nothing
This for sure means something is wrong. You should really be on the ball around this time. Many arguments start with nothing and end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay / Don't Worry
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome and kiss her with a smile.
8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU! or she really is upset with you, and thought that something that meant something to her would mean something to you. Talk to her. Communicate with her.

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

do you have any to add???


..... Love Tanya

Cheating in the Digital Age

Recently I logged into my hotmail and on the http://www.msn.com/ website there was an article about cheating in the digital age. Listen, I hate cheating, I've been cheated on and yes I have cheated on one past boyfriend (he cheated on me, so I returned the favour) but to have cheaters out there in the world, I think is disrespectful. I'm not perfect, I know that. And yes I cheated, I know that, but this article on msn.com is about snopping around your significant other's phone/facebook and emails. I am the first to give my phone over to my boyfriend, because I have nothing incriminating on there, and really the only person I message is him and a couple of girlfriends, but thats's it. I'm not having an affair, I barely have time to see my boyfriend, let alone start an affair but as well, I don't want one. I'm happy with my guy, and though we have been through quite alot in the last couple of months, I'm sure that he is happy with me and our relationship (let's hope he is).

Yes he has given me his facebook password, his email password, and hand over his phone a couple of times. And even though one time (when I was helping him, promote his music, on Facebook, there was a very inappropiate message from some lady) I trust him. And I know that he isn't out to hurt me or cheat on me, he loves me and supports me. So why would he cheat on me? (I'm only the best girlfriend ever) haha...

So ladies, get off your boyfriend's emails, log off his facebook, hand him back his cellphone and stop snooping. What's the point in being in a relationship if you don't trust your significant other?


..... Love Tanya

My Writings

For those of you that do not know me that well, I write. I write poems that don't make sense, poems that are corny, stories that are crazy out there, and just random things that come to mind. I often find it weird when people try to read my stuff, because I always think that it sucks. So if I yell at you not to read my work, it's probably because I think that you are better at writing anything and don't want people to laugh at my thoughts. It's also sometimes very personal to me. I guess this blog is also very personal as I am trying to reinvent myself, therefore this is a bit of an oxymoron, however as of now, I will keep my 'corny' writings to myself.

... never stop smiling...

..... Love Tanya

The Cutest Baby Ever

so cute....


..... Love Tanya

How to Run a Business, The Tanya Way

As I sit here working in a mindless job, that I can do already with my eyes closed I think about the future. Constantly in meetings right now, because no matter what I do in this mindless job, I am still not doing enough. I have given up hope working at this hospital. I love the interaction with the people that come in. Love hearing stories about their lives, or about what they are going to do after their appointments but the management behind of all this, is completely unprofessional, unorganized, and simply does not care about their employees. Only really caring about the job. Employees here have lives, have children, have sicknesses, have heartache, and are slowly killing themselves to get as much work done as they can.

I know I shouldn't complain. I have not one, but two jobs. However, I see in both places the things that are lacking. Here at the hospital there is no organization, no communication between staff and management- to the point that half of us is afraid to go up and talk to them, and no compassion- you would think working in a hospital there would be compassion, but no, there isn't. At my second job, as an assistant to a lawyer, I see that she isn't at all organized. Everything is all over the place and there is no structure to anything. Clients show up without being booked, people are all over the place, the phones are always ringing. ORGANIZATION is the key to success.

Already now at my tender age, I am thinking about my business, how I want it and how I will run it. I just kind of want to finish my schooling and move on and open my own P.R. firm. I can totally see it. I want to work with underground talent, and get them known for Toronto. Toronto is a very talented city and alot of people need to know this.

Just my two sense..

..... Love Tanya

What Stress Does To Me....

I have been super stressed these past couple of days.

Working as an assistant is completely difficult. I am organized myself (somehow) however, trying to get someone organized when they aren't in the first place is difficult, and I am finding it the hardest way.



I don't know about you, but when I am super stressed I take it out on the people I care the most about. A couple of my girls, mom, my sisters, and now my boyfriend. It's hard when this girl is super easy going and sweet to everyone and then just turns to an ultimate whining, crazy ass bitch. (Hey I'm the first one to admit it that I am a bitch- when I'm stressed of course ;)). I literally just got off the phone yelling at my boyfriend, because of something so stupid. He told me we couldn't hang out tonight as he had to work. That's fine with me and usually I would have said alright but I yelled at him. For what? I will never know. If it was me saying to him that I couldn't hang out because of work, he would be like, okay babe call me after- and I'm here yelling like an idiot. Geez louise.

SO IF I YELL AT YOU, IT'S BECAUSE I'M STRESSED AND SECRETLY LOVE YOU. Ha

..... Love Tanya

Hot Boy

I was just hearing Travis Mccoy's song "Billionaire" on the radio and thought I would google him. He is a cutie.. I really don't know what it is, but he seems cute to me. Ladies what do you think??





Just look at that cute face!!

Here is his song "Billionaire" for your viewing pleasure....

What is the Meaning of Love?

I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 6 months and though I know we both love each other and care about each other. We have never said "I Love You". Well I did- because it just slipped as I was saying goodnight to him. And he texted me back and said the same thing in the text, we have never said it face to face. Sometimes I do wish that we have or we did I think to just solitify our relationship, but I'm learning more and more that I do not need those words to prove to me that he loves me.

I know he loves me because:
- he remembers everything about me. (even my favourite flower-which I told him like the first week we started talking)
- he kisses me on my forehead (which I secretly love and hope that he would do it more often) - he looks at me with those adoring eyes, and just gives me 'the look'
- he makes me laugh!!!! (at myself, at him, at everyone and he's totally cool about it)(LADIES THIS IS A BIG ONE FOR ME, I have dated disasters before that didn't know what funny was even if funny hit them in the head)
- he is thinking about the future with me (this is a big one- all the ladies know it)
- he accepts all my flaws and always makes me feel good about myself (compliments me very rarely but its cute when he does)
- he enjoys just sitting outside talking in the park or on the street without having to do anything, we just talk and talk for hours, laughing and giggling.
- he pushes me- to be the best that I can be (yes that's corny, but it is very true)
- he makes me smile, blush, and laugh (all at the same time)

okay before I get anymore corny (which he will be the first one to point that out)



Because of all these things I believe love is shown, and not spoken, because too many people speak love yet they do not show it.

What do you believe is the meaning of love?



..... Love Tanya

Fishtail Braids

I am in love with Fishtail braids, I think tomorrow I will wake up earlier and make one for work.....




..... Love Tanya

Hiatus

So basically I have been on Haitus. I started a new job working as an assistant to an immigration lawyer, plus still working some nights at the hospital i work for. I love it. I wanted a change at least by the end of this year and I got it. I thank the heavens for this job opportunity. However it is not in the field I am studying. But right now, I am enjoying it. I promise to come back and work harder on this blog. I have to. I want to. I need it. this is my journal and I am madly in love with writing.

..... Love Tanya